What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize