6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
