I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Come on in and take your pants off
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