Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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