you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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