After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
