so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
