You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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