My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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