I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
