its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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