If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You did what with his pubic hair?
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