ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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