i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
