The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
