"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just google imaged poop.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
