can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
