of course. lets lasso hookers.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
