I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
