that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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