I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
