he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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