I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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