if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my being single is dangerous.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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