She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
So. Much. Porn.
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