just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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