if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
