I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize