I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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