He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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