i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
