did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
