Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
