he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
