well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just googled if crying burns calories
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
