is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
