Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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