I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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