There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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