I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The air was thick with penises
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
