Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I wish my penis had an off switch
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
