You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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