dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
