All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
