If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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