apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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