Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
