A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
