nut hugger
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
