i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize