Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
