I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
