i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
that's an acceptable place to lick
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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