I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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