no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
