oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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