that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
