butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
