You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
