o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
