I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize