The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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