mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
