I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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