Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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